The Molyneux Chainsaw Assimilation
by Acacia paradoxa
Summary: We all know what happens when you plunk a blonde LA party girl in with a group of social awkward geniuses, now you are gonna find out what happens when a pierced Australian chainsaw enthusiast falls into the mix.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Big Bang characters, Ace is my own.

**The Molyneux Chainsaw Assimilation**

_The estimated percentile statistic of two persons meeting expressed in layman's terminology as a __**Chance Encounter.**_

Leonard sighed as he pulled a thick wad of letters from his mail box and stomped up the stairs, the universities free electron laser had blown a fuse during his latest experiment. Quite literally, the main lens in the optical array had shot from the aperture and smashed into the auxiliary power console. It would take at least four days for the engineering team to have it up and running again. On the upside, 5 day weekend.

"OH BUGGER ME! BLOODY WANKERS DROPPED MY WINE GLASSES!"

Leonard paused on the second to last step to his floor and peered cautiously around the elevator shaft. He was greeted by the denim clad backside of a young woman who was bending over to inspect the contents of a large cardboard box. Long, well toned legs with some tight calf muscles clad in bright red tights poked out from the dark shorts and disappeared into a pair of high top black converse sneakers.

He nearly fell backwards when she crossed her arms over her feet and looked and him full in the face from upside down between her legs.

"How's it going?" greeted the grinning young woman from between her calves.

She pulled herself upright and turned around, she grinning at the tired scientist and flicking short dark curls out of her face. Scrunching her nose to stop a pair of funky bright purple glasses from sliding down the bridge of her nose.

"Pardon my language, stupid mover guys managed to break nearly all my wine and water glasses".

Leonard shuffled nervously and climbed the last couple of stairs to his floor, he glanced over at the unusual stranger blushing as he noticed her ample yet perky breasts outlined under her soft black wife beater.

"Oh that's ok, due to the high level of acoustic resonance caused by the type of building materials used in the original construction of the building sound tends to travel in here" Leonard replied in one of his usual anxious ramblings.

She was quite pretty, short dark brown curls bounced around a well defined jaw line set with high cheek bones and a soft cheeky smile. Her bright blue eyes sparkled humorously behind her distinctive glasses, and light glinted off a small silver spike pierced through her left eyebrow.

She sniggered at the comment and turned back to her box. Leonard reached into his pocket and pulled his house keys, he pushed the key into the lock and was surprised to find that it wouldn't turn. He groaned loudly in realisation and began to softly bang his head against the door. Leonard felt a small hand on his shoulder and turned his head slightly doing a double take when he saw the woman behind him holding up a tool that looked like a weird combination of a hammer, crowbar and wrench. She was also holding a small hammer.

She jammed the crowbar end into the edge between the door and the frame where the bolt from the lock latched into the doorframe. Raising the hammer she bashed the flat end of the tool driving it into the groove.

Leonard visibly winced as the tool dug deeper in to the door frame , after two or three more thwacks with the hammer he heard a loud crack and a click before the door lurched open. She fiddled with the lock, checking both sides and tapping the bolt with the tip of the hammer.

"I'd call a lock smith; who ever installed this little bastard did a corker of a job" she stated as she picked up her tools. "Catch you later carburettor"

With that she saluted and headed down the stair well, managing to tripp and go sprawling down on to the landing and out of sight.

"I'm ok" she called from around the corner.

Leonard scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion and walked into the apartment shaking his head. He contacted the lock smith and had the security lock on the front door replaced and 5 keys made up; 2 for himself and Sheldon, 1 for the manager, 1 emergency key for Penny and one spare to keep in the bowl...wait, where was Sheldon!

Leonard froze, nearly dropping his can of cola...he had forgotten Sheldon!. Quick as the Flash (ahaha) he grabbed his key, yanked the door closed and flew down the stairs and nearly bowled into a red faced and sweaty Sheldon as he marched through the front door and glared at his roommate.

"_You_ were supposed to give me a ride home! I had to walk all the way from the university, running the last few miles from the neighbour's dog Truffles. Since I am no longer able to take public transportation and the others will not willingly drive me any more I rely solely on you for transport" the tall physicist huffed loudly, trying to catch his breath.

Leonard stood awkwardly for a moment, nervously fiddling his fingertips.

"Well I guess we are even then, you changed the locks on the apartment with out telling me...AGAIN!"

Sheldon stood up straight and cocked his eyebow in his usual imitation spock face.

"Informing you would have compromised the security of the apartment, it was safer to retain com silence until our impending return. So how is it my fault that you were locked out when it was you who forgot to drive me home"

By this point Leonard had given up arguing with his crazy roommate and was already ascending the staircase with a sullen Sheldon stomping up behind him, he was storing hanging his jacket up in the communal closet when Sheldon stopped in the door way and was stooped over examining the door frame.

"oh no" he groaned as Sheldon suddenly let out a girlish scream.

"AIEEEEEE! WHAT HAPPENED? SOME ONE TRIED TO BREAKIN, I'VE GOT TO CALL THE POLICE..."

Leonard tuned out the narsasistic screeching by hitting his head against the closet door.

...

Later on.

"Wolowizard iz in da hizouzz!" yelled Howard as he swaggered into the apartment followed by a somewhat mortified Raj laiden down with a PS1 and mass amounts of games.

"who's ready to rock it old school" hollered Sheldon who was bouncing up and down in his 'spot' brandishing a copy of Crash Bandicoot.

Leonard had already returned from the Chinese restaurant and was setting up the coffee table for dinner whilst Howard set about organising the PS1 over by the plasma screen, all were willing and ready for Vintage Game Night on a Friday. Although all the _action_ usually happened after dinner when Penny would come up with some excuse as to why she couldn't stay, however that night proved to be different. The perky young blonde bounded in five minutes later looking polished and clean after a lunch shift at the Cheesecake Factory and coming home to a long, cleansing shower.

Her long golden hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she was comfortably attired in a pair of loose pink track pants and a purple baby T, she was followed close behind by a woman who in appearance was her polar opposite.

Leonard recognised her immidiatly as the girl who had helped him out before and greeted her with a delighted smile. She was still wearing the shorts, tights and black trainers but her singlet was replaced by a v neck long sleaved black top with a massive gold peace symbol emblazoned across the front. The fabric of the top fitted to her body showing off her narrow waist and well proportioned hourglass figure.

Her short dark hair was pulled back revealing her long slender neck and the top of a tattoo on the back of her neck. Her ears, now fully exposed revealed numerous piercings along the line of cartilage , lobes and a small black ring sitting in her labret. Her eyebrow ring was partially hidden by her side fringe falling over the left side of her face.

Raj and Howard instantly perked up at the sight of the new comer, Howard sidled up to her and clasped her hand in one of his usual lecherous greetings, an overly apprechiative gleam in his eye.

"Bonjour Madamoisele, Howard Wolowitz . Senior Engineer at Cal Tech university and the good thing that comes in a small package"

She did a double take when he bent over and slathered a kiss across her knuckles instead of shaking her hand as social convention would dictate, she shuddered lightly when his tongue darted out and gave a long and lingering lick. She slowly withdrew her hand and discreetly wiped it on a tissue from her pocket.

"Um...how's it going" she replied some what awkwardly.

After an unusually long pause of silence Penny grasped her friend's hand and pulled her further into the room and sat her down on the desk chair across the table from the couch, she placed an arm around her shoulders and proceeded to introduce her to the nerdizzles.

"Guys this is my new roommate Acacia Molyneux, Acacia these are my friends/neighbours/ tech support" she trailed off slightly.

"hello again" she greeted Leonard warmly, with a smile and a wink.

"Hi, I'm Leonard by the way"

"Acacia, but you can just call me Ace if you want"

**End chapter 1**


End file.
